What’s in Everlasting Love? *

If you are thinking about attractive appearance, it only causes flushed cheeks, a racing heart beat, clammy hands and hence, secure the first date. It signals ATTRACTION, the very first stage in everlasting love. But it doesn’t last for long.

If you are thinking about a romantic kiss and great sex, they certainly triggers chemical reactions inside the body fired up by Cupid’s arrow. A kiss helps you burn 26 calories in a minute, and lovemaking elevates heart rate to 60-85% of maximum heart rate. These biochemical workouts drive you temporarily insane, and fortunately don’t endure for a lifetime. They confirm the enjoyment of LUST, the second stage in everlasting love. But there is more in everlasting love.

If you are thinking about commitment, you are on the right track in the pursuit of everlasting love. Commitment is a sign of reaching COMPATIBILITY, the third stage of everlasting love. However, not all couples know about holistic aspect of compatibility. Only through mutual commitment to reach compatibility in several areas of a relationship, couples can truly find everlasting love. The followings show compatibility factors that couples need to consider in order to cultivate love for a lifetime.

Compatibility Factors of Everlasting Love

Appearance: How attracted is he to her? How much effort does he put into maintaining and improving appearance to attract her after falling into love?

Emotions: How affectionate is he to her? How does his way of handling emotions impact her?

Communication: How open is he at expressing himself? How patient is he to listen to her? How willing is he to discuss ups and downs in life with her?

Intellect: How does he perceive her educational achievement? Does the couple share similar interest in cultural activities, current events, and world affairs? Can the couple interact intellectually to enhance emotional connection?

Sex: How sexy does he find her? How does bedroom etiquette affect the couple’s intimate moments?

Career: How important is it to split time between love and career? What is his/her definition of the right balance between work and family?

Finance: What is his/her attitude towards making money and spending money? How does he/she make financial decisions from grocery shopping to home buying?

Independence: How much personal space does he/she for themselves? How important is it to have ‘my life’ versus ‘our lives’?

Family: How many children does he/she want to raise? How often does he/she would like to visit relatives? How committed is he/she to take care of elderly parents?

Spirituality: How important is it for him/her to meet spiritual (compared to practical or materialistic) needs? How does his/her religious practices influence the other?

Sociability: How much does he/she want time alone? How does he/she enjoy others’ company and community events?

Habits: How to overcome the battle of sexes? Is he willing to watch Lifetime channel with her or is she willing to switch to ESPN channel to be his ‘buddy’? How acceptable is he/she to daily routine differences?

Everlasting love is a complicated human science. It is attainable with pheromone (sex hormone) and rationality. It takes two willing minds to reach strategic compromises over time. holistic compatibility adjustments in life make love last. Once you become aware of major compatibility factors of everlasting love, you can be confident and proactive about pursuing (if you are single) love, and nurturing (if you are in a relationship) love for now, and forever.

Happy Valentine’s Day!



*This article was first published in Yellow Magazine February 2008 issue.